It's like God shit irony all over that family
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
