whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
