hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
