I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
