He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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