By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
