she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
