i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
