You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
