there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
