which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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