I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your cock deserves a montage
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
