U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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