I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
