So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
