Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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