I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
