Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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