New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
