I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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