i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am one with the molecules
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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