Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
