my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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