idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
