they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize