How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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