are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
