I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
