All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
