have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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