She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
