I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
