You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
