32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
