Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
