Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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