he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
