I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
