fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
