im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
