i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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