He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
