I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Semen is not good for contacts.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
