We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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