just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
