If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
