could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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