yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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