is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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