...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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