I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
