My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
They have beer where we have blood.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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