I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nicole vs. Life
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
