very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
