omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she peed on how many people?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
