Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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